IT’S HAPPENING…Coming Soon, JANUARY 2019

It has been soooo hard to not share everything I’ve been experiencing from the physical to the emotional and even more so mental.

I am extremely grateful for this blessing for us and for the ways I feel I will grow and better serve you guys as well. As one wise man said, the only thing constant in life is change. So with that being said, I want to be able to share all the changes that are effecting and shaping me as Dave and I navigate this new road together.

While not every blog is going to be about my pregnancy, I can already tell you it has influenced my body and mind greatly. Wanting to birth and raise a child was one of the major catalysts for making the change from obsession over food, fitness and body to a life of freedom to concentrate on other values and experiences, such as eventual motherhood. I had to begin to change my perspective THEN, if I had any hope of not going crazy during and beyond pregnancy. Though I’m sure some craziness will ensue, I’m already crying over the news and even the royal wedding 🤦🏼‍♀️, I’m confident it will be less than if I hadn’t started this work earlier.

Today’s blog is more of an announcement, like a part one to I don’t know how many, lol. I will tell you that I did not throw up at all and keeping up on rest and carbs has kept me feeling my best.

One thing I want to put out there now is that I don’t eat well to lose weight or to even not gain weight.  I eat well to feel good and support the baby growing inside of me. I have zero control over my body and if anyone wanted to argue this with me before, I believe it even more now. It may be surrendering but it is not giving up. There is no counting or tracking and even when my app tells me to track my food, I don’t. I try to eat a variety of nutritious things for me and my baby, but it is definitely in conjunction with fun foods and meals I didn’t normally eat as consistently. Balance has never been more necessary and I will tell you that meat and veggies is not my go to choice like it often was. When it sounds good (if we are out or someone else cooks it) I take advantage and eat it. However, I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that buttered toast and PBJ sandwiches are making frequent appearances.

As for weighing myself, I’m not. Even when my app says to track it. I lived my days going by how I felt before this and I plan on continuing to live that way through pregnancy. I will get weighed at my doctor appointments for their satisfaction. Obviously weight gain is inevitable, my goal is to feel my best and knowing my weight isn’t indicative of that. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to try to lose weight if I gain “too much.” And I truly believe if you focus on feeling your best, your weight will be what it will be and it will all balance out and be fine. I’m not your trainer trying to only gain x pounds or worrying about bouncing back x weeks post partum. You’re going to see the real deal from me. It is what it is and I don’t want the stress of weight to distract me from this journey. 

So beyond the food and body, my mindset is on a couple other things. For one, we did not struggle to get pregnant and I have known many people close to me who have, and I feel for them and pray for their blessing. So when I feel fat or bloated or whatever symptom, I quickly switch my focus to being grateful for this opportunity and all I truly pray for is a healthy pregnancy and baby, like all parents do.

Just as I didn’t want my body and food to consume my life before this, I most certainly won’t entertain that again now.

Beyond gratefulness for the opportunity is the gratefulness for the even greater connection between Dave and I now. He has already been a rock and shown me things that literally make my heart melt and I’m lucky to have someone to share this with. Though he has 2 kids previously, I don’t feel like I’m alone or this is not “as amazing” to him. I feel like it’s a first for both of us, together. 

Similarly, my family, though there are already 6 other babies from my sisters, have made me feel soooo special and like this is the first baby. I count on them for a ton of guidance and I prefer to ask them before I google anything. I actually try not to google much. We joke that we google for each other as a way to censor any shit that may just scare us, lol. 

Another mindset shift I have is around artificial sweeteners. I was a diet soda fiend when I started competing. When my mom got cancer I quit it. Not for being fat or not, but for health. I switched to stevia. And when I got pregnant, I even dropped that dramatically. It’s a different motivation when it’s for health, or your baby’s health, than for weight loss or body control. You just do it. And it makes me realize how skewed our motivation is sometimes. The things we will do for a better body, but not necessarily better health. There’s some things you just are safer not playing with while pregnant and even though you want it, you just don’t risk it. It’s not will power. It just is what you do. 

And finally, self care. I’ve never had to listen to my body more. Workouts. Naps. Food. There’s no more “I should,” but “I need.” 

And with that, I’ll conclude this blog. We will be finding out the gender soon and that will be a whole other level of excitement. For now, day by day I try to stay in the present moment and enjoy this miracle of a journey.

Thank you for sharing it with me.