WHAT ARE YOU REALLY CHASING?

September 17, 2017  |  Uncategorized

Did you know dieting has a long term success rate of barely 5%? That means it has a failure rate of nearly 95%!!! What does that mean??? Dieting works until it doesn’t. But what does “works” mean?? That’s a different definition for everyone. And unfortunately, if you stop your diet, you almost certainly gain weight back. SO WHY DO WE INSIST ON DIETING STILL?????

I posted a short video eluding to this blog. I couldn’t possibly get everything I wanted to say in in under 2 minutes. So here we go. You will want to finish this blog. And you will want to do some self reflection.  This is not a blog on info. It is a blog on honesty, like always. A blog on my own reflection. A blog on my scary realizations, some of which I was well aware of at the time and others which I look back now and think, “Duh Lisa. But what were you doing?!”

Ok, so most of us fail at dieting, one way or another and eventually. And if you are one of the “lucky” ones in that 5% success rate area, so far at least, then you may just be living a crazy life.  Crazy in terms of obsessed. Scared. Consumed. Preoccupied. Distracted. Moody. See, when we follow a “diet” and we have diet mentality, we are restricted. We are confined to a certain way of eating. There are things we can’t eat. Things we should do. And a whole array of mental stress that we put on ourselves. In essence, that means we have a low probability of success and a high probability of insanity. I wouldn’t gamble on these odds, would you??? So Why are you dieting? And even more importantly, WHAT ARE YOU TRADING FOR CHASING THIS THIN IDEAL? OR PERFECT BODY? WHAT ARE YOU SACRIFICING FOR IT?

As I’ve learned, especially through experience, is that we are trying to manage uncertainty in some way. And dieting isn’t rational. It’s compulsive. And miserable. But at least we can “control” our body, or so we think.

This is exactly why I dieted. This is exactly why I started chasing weight loss. I have never felt more on top of the world as when I lost weight. When the scale went down. When my clothes got looser. When I bought a smaller size. Do you know I have helped women out of abusive relationships? And I have helped them through the loss of a child and a sister. Through a sick parent. Through a loss of a job. Through a divorce. AND LOSING WEIGHT USED TO TRUMP IT ALL IN MY HEAD. I thought it made me elite. Like I could do something not everyone can. Brutal honesty and it’s hard to admit it. But how many times do you look at someone who’s lost weight with jealousy? With the judgement that they must have it all together? That their life must be great because they can lose weight. HOW SMALL OF US. WE KNOW BETTER THAN THIS. It’s not all our fault though, society has brainwashed us to idolize weight loss. To put it on a pedestal above all possible accomplishments. It used to be what I was most proud of. But it isn’t anymore.

So looking back with awareness, I figured out some awesome stuff. And I urge you to look at your life and times you have started a diet. Why did you start a diet? BEYOND weight loss. Why did you start trying to control your body? Control your food? What did you think would happen when you reached that perfect body? That goal weight?

Guess what? You aren’t chasing a goal weight. You are chasing a feeling. And you have to start to look honestly at what feeling you are trying to get. Love?? Confidence? Acceptance? Sexiness? Worthiness? Validation?  I wanted to be noticed. I wanted to be validated as sexy. Validated as a reputable trainer cuz I believed it depended on what I looked like. I wanted to feel like I fit in by wearing certain size clothing. That made me feel like I was enough. Or so I thought.

What I really found, as I look back, is that trying to lose weight was a distraction for me. I knew I could do it so I felt accomplished. And it took my focus off of my issues. The overriding theme of my issues was UNCERTAINTY. I hate uncertainty. As do many of us. Looking back at when I dieted, I found I was escaping my parents divorce. My near death blood clot. Relationship issues and stress. The uncertainty of my career. The uncertainty of life. Uncertainty of major decisions. So I focused on changing my body. It was easier. It was distracting. It was consuming.

So what are you escaping? What are you distracting yourself from?  What should you be trying to change other than your body? It doesn’t matter if you lose ten pounds, those other issues will still be there. And now all you have done is delayed addressing them or finding a solution or taking action.

Dieting was my favorite form of procrastination. It kept me from accomplishing a lot in my life. Cuz I was freakin distracted. I was not present in my freakin life! It was doing me no good.

And guess what?? When I weighed 140 pounds, my “goal weight,” nothing was any different. My romantic relationships didn’t change because my weight wasn’t the issue in the relationship. But it sure took me out of my relationship. It also caused stress cuz I was a freakin moody mess from restriction and obsession with this perfect body.  I didn’t get a teaching job because I reached 140 pounds. I didn’t beat my blood clot because I weighed 140 pounds. All that shit was there are 140 and 150!!! All of it! It was me who wasn’t there. It was me trying to control my life by controlling my body. It was easier to blame my body for the problems in my life than to take an honest look and face my problems. And in all honesty, if I wasn’t so obsessed with my body over the last 10 years, I may not have encountered some of the major issues I did. The best thing you can do is show up to your life. Losing those 10-20 pounds will not change your problems. Don’t lie to yourself and say well I’ll be more comfortable in my clothes!!! I’ll be more confident! If I can just lose these 10 pounds, “blah blah” will happen. You don’t freakin know and I would bet it won’t matter like you think.

So what is your chase for the ideal body costing you?? What are you trading for this body? What are you missing out on in life because of it???? AND IS IT WORTH IT?

I hit my wall. I was done chasing. Done trading precious time with my family and loved ones for it. Done missing out on social events and making memories for it. Done missing the beautiful day, done not hearing my favorite songs because my mind is cluttered with judgements and shoulds, done dismissing compliments because I didn’t believe them, done trading my uncertainty for control because some of the best things in life are born from uncertainty and because in the end, you cannot control your body as much as you think. You control your habits. Make them healthy. And stop trading your precious life for a fleeting ideal body. There isn’t one. And I would hate to see you miss out on happiness because you are putting it all on your body. Your body will not bring you happiness. Why have a body you love and a life you hate???

Stop chasing. Stop trading. Stop missing out. And for the love of God, stop dieting.

Lisa Marie
Xoxo

***Please take the time to ask yourself these questions.  This can be scary. I am here to help. My online coaching may be perfect for you if you are struggling with dieting, diet mentality, obsession or compulsiveness. A coach can offer the guidance and resources you need to get the mindset you need, Not the body you think you need. Message me if you want help to SIMPLIFY. BALANCE. ENJOY.
Apply here: https://lisamarie11.typeform.com/to/PkDGR