Welcome back! Do you diet to control what your body looks like? Do you workout to control what your body looks like? Do you workout and diet to be a certain goal weight? Do you think losing weight means you’re healthier? Finally, do you believe that if you want something and enough, if you’ll do anything to get it, that you will? Does this pertain to your “goal body” too?
Last week I told you I was going to discuss OUR body and what we DO have control over. So what if I told you that in the long game, we don’t have as much control over our bodies as we think. OMG LISA STOP. WHY WOULD THE FITNESS AND DIET INDUSTRY BE SO BIG IF WE DON’T HAVE CONTROL? Well, for money, duh. They have capitalized on our desire for the thin ideal. For the lean ideal. For the strong ideal. For the look this way and life will be great ideal. And we are made to think that if we aren’t striving for a better looking body then we must be lazy. Or they can tell us what is beautiful. And all they really do is skew information and prey on our insecurities to make us jump at the next best thing they can make money off of.
AFTER ALL, there is no money for them to make if we stop buying shit and start LISTENING TO OUR BODIES. Woah!! Did you ever think of that? I don’t want to play the victim here. That isn’t what I’m saying. But we need to stop thinking the media, diet, fitness, even the medical field, have OUR best interests in mind all the time. So let’s step away from the fact that they want to make money and we fall for it.
Let’s look at the question I asked earlier that probably made you shit yourself. What if we don’t have as much control as we think over what our body looks like? This has many levels, but for right now, I will be honest about the most simple level. I will never have a body like Gisele. I will never have a body like IG booty queen Jen Setler. I just won’t. I’m not tall. I’m not skinny. I’m not lanky. I am 5’5″. I may be able to have a body like Nicole Wilkins or Simone Biles. That’s because I am muscular. I am athletic. Although I hate to use this word, I’m a little “thicker” than my first few examples. I have a gymnastics background like them. You know why I have the body I do? Because of gymnastics to start. And because of two people I like to call… MOM AND DAD. Maybe it’s because of my body type that I was a talented gymnast. But regardless, my body was made for that. For running fast. For jumping high. For being strong and powerful. That being said, I am not your graceful ballerina. I am not your runway model. I am not your hourglass Sex symbol. Mom and Dad blessed me with me the ability to gain muscle. My lifestyle helped me gain it. And I ran with it. That’s who I am. I did what my body was good at. Mom and Dad did not bless me with big, round glutes and a little waist. They just didn’t. So when I see these girls with that, I would envy it.
I spent years trying to be what I’m not!!! Years!!! Wasted freaking years. It’s sad really. I did not embrace ME and what I had. I was always wanting smaller calves so I could buy any boots and skinny jeans. A little waist so I would look curvy. A bigger but because that’s what was considered sexy. I wanted smaller arms and legs. I wanted to be more “girly” and “dainty.” IT WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I am not saying ditch your fitness goals. But I am begging you to get realistic!!!!! Don’t fall for the trap of the “perfect body” girl doing such and such and think if you do what she does or eats what she does you will look like she does. You won’t. This is harsh I know. And at the risk of pissing people off again, I’m telling you anyway.
When I stopped trying to be something I wasn’t, my world changed. I became proud of my arms. Proud of my legs. Proud of my body and what it can do. And I don’t look like a lot of the girls on instagram…and I am finally ok with it. I love that I can do a pull-up even though I’m 150 pounds. I love that I am 150 pounds and can tell you that, in public, without flinching anymore. Even if a guy reads this!!! Omg a guy knowing my weight used to be my worst nightmare. But, I’m probably faster than a lot of them 😉
See, I can’t control my body. I can improve parts and it’s perfectly ok to want to. I thank Cross Fit for some of this change. For this shift to celebrating what we CAN DO versus just what we look like. And I hope to spread this idea more, like I try to do with my clients.
KEY POINT- When I stopped trying to change my body so much, I actually started to like it more. There are things about my body that make me different than others. And I don’t have to beat myself into submission to be what is “sexy” right now. Like strong is sexy right? Not really… LEAN is portrayed as sexy more than strong is. It’s bullshit. You know what is F-king sexy??? YOU. YOU BEING PROUD. YOU LOVING PARTS OF YOU AND PLAYING THEM UP. Do it. Stop trying to change what isn’t good enough and love what is.
SECOND KEY POINT- Your weight should be whatever weight you are when you are living a healthy life. And THIS my ladies, is what we DO have control over. Your lifestyle. Your healthy habits. YOUR SELF CARE. And when you take care of yourself?? Your weight will be perfect FOR YOU. I don’t even care what that weight is. I don’t weigh my clients. I don’t give them goal weights. I don’t give a shit. I ask them HOW ARE YOU FEELING before each workout. I ask about things they have been doing and going through. I want to know if they are taking care of themselves. I want to know how they are feeling. THAT’S WHAT I CARE ABOUT. THAT’S what we control.
So, before you beat yourself up to have a little waist and big butt like I did, let me save you the trouble. If you have a little waist, accentuate it. If you love your butt, rock it. Love what you love about yourself, even if it is only one thing right now. And then focus on these things:
1. Eat real food more than not real food.
2. Avoid chemicals and fake food.
3. Sleep!!! Get enough quality sleep.
4. Drink water, not sugar.
5. Find ways to move that YOU ENJOY.
6. Practice good personal hygeine.
8. Compliment others more.
9. Criticize yourself less.
10. TAKE TIME TO RENEW YOURSELF.
This is a broad, general list. I’d love to help you more, coach you and guide you to a body you love without a life you hate.
Realize chasing an ideal doesn’t make you admirable. Embracing who you are and taking care of yourself does. Don’t want my arms. Want the best arms YOU can have. Maybe you’ll get them from playing with your baby. Maybe from lifting. Maybe from cleaning. But don’t think you can pick and choose different parts you want from different people and actually get them and be happy. That is a path that leads nowhere but to more self – hate.
PICK WHAT YOU LIKE ABOUT YOU.
MAKE CHOICES TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT.
AND WHEREVER YOUR WEIGHT ENDS UP is where your weight will be and actually should be.
Stop focusing on a goal weight. Stop making weight loss your focus and your means to an end. Stop trying to control your body so much.
Focus on self care. On listening to yourself. And accepting yourself. It doesn’t make you complacent. It doesn’t make you arrogant. But it just might make you happy.
Love you all.